Everyone's tongue print is unique.

"Everyone's tongue print is unique."

Wonder if tongue would ever be used for identification!

Smoky Lines

"People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!"


This should be the punch line on every cigarette box. It should very well be extended to advertisements, shelves in super markets carrying these boxes.

Classic family

FAMILY: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space

Live it up

I have always wanted to captures the lines of my favorite person - My Maternal Aunt - Ms Geeta Fadnavis :)

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I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose :-|

Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables,chairs,walls, floors ......

Do I look like a frigging people person?

Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.

The way taxes are, people now marry for love.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Late to bed & early to rise makes a woman grumpy & not too wise!

I Used To Be Scizophrenic… But We’re OK Now.

I Don’t Know You, But I’m Pretty Sure I Don’t LIke You.

Why Are You Still Here? The Stupid People Left Hours Ago.

jasmine was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Snow White lived alone with 7 men. Pinnochio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked around without clothes on. A stranger kissed sleeping beauty and she married him. Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to attend a party. You can't blame us. We were taught to rebel since a young age.


Being a parent is too complicated and emotional a task for magical techniques and miracle cures.

Ah! yes, I know: those who see me rarely trust my word: I must look too intelligent to keep it.

If you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and you are the main witness, what if you say "no"?

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe

If I throw a stick, will you go away?

To err is human, but it feels divine :)

No matter how hard you try, it is impossible to fax a cat :)

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking :)

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life !

All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.

Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

Logarithm is the tune a mathematician sings while cutting down trees :)

Good morning...I see the assassins have failed."

'm gonna start a new hair style, It's a combination between a bowl cut and a mullet... I think I'll call it the bullet.

In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

I was BORN CooL but GlobaL WarminG made me HOT"

you cann't drink all day if you do not start at breakfast!

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other, and when I am alone I am together :/

Hello, welcome to my away message, how may I ignore you today?

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Booze is the answer. I don't remember the question ....

If I seem to give a damn, please tell me. I would hate to be giving the wrong impression.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Fortunately, we have a lot of really smart women in the business.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

Do not drink and drive or u might spill the drink :)

Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?

Dogs have Owners, Cats have Staff :)

I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit......

Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.

Coffee is not my cup of tea ;)

I'm not as think as you drunk I am ..

If you take a shower in the morning be sure to bring it back, someone else might need it!!!!!!!

AND YOUR POINT IS?

Chocolate: the OTHER major food group.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them.

I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?

Keep honking. I'm reloading.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.

after twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.

I never go to bed mad. I stay up and plot revenge.....

Hey all, sorry but my mouse ran away so I got to go find it.

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles :)

WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

I have always wanted to get in a cab and say."FOLLOW THAT CAR!!"

If you have something to say, raise your hand . . . and place it over your mouth.

Where there's smoke . . . you'll find me cooking dinner :)

SoMeDay.. u'll 4get abt me.. My Name.. My VoiCe.. Who I am.. & who I am 2 u.. & if that ever happens...AAI SHAPPAT DHOPTUN TAKEEN TULA..!

to live...

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:

1. Money cannot buy happiness but its more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastards name.

3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because its illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.